Written by: Max Specht

Amongst all the chatter of executives, hosts, and other bloggers. Everyone must be pretty confused as to the whole Jay Leno-Conan O’Brien-Tonight Show fiasco, which is currently dominating the internet. Rather than regurgitate official press releases, and comments, and other whisperings. I would much rather put this into terms that people will understand, and hopefully enjoy. So here we go, let’s go to the playground.

So, the easiest form to explain this is in that of a story.

There once was a little boy cheerfully walking around the playground with his brand new basketball, but this was not just any basketball, this was a brand name basketball that everyone else wanted but couldn’t have. The little boy played around with the ball, and was pretty good with it, but wasn’t doing anything really new to aid the game of basketball.

Next thing you know, another boy runs into the picture. This child is unique, and shows limitless potential. So the teacher (who also happens to be the first boy’s father) decides that after his son is done playing with the ball for a certain amount of time, he will give it to the new boy to play with.

After all was said and done and enough time had passed, the teacher took the ball from the first boy, and placed it into the hands of the next boy. But he didn’t want to leave his son out, so he gave him a new ball that he could play with. But the problem with this ball was, it wasn’t the first ball. It was just some no-name ball, that the boy didn’t want the responsibility of caring for.

So the little boy, being very upset, marched up to his father and proclaimed that he wanted the first ball back. And because the new boy was having a rather hard time handling the ball - keep in mind, he’s had it for all of five minutes - the father decided that the boy didn’t need the ball anymore. So after all the moaning and groaning from his son, he took the ball back and let his son have the first ball, while popping the second one with a thumbtack (simply because his son couldn’t play well with it).

Where did that leave the boy who had the ball? Well, he simply shrugged and walked away.

So I don’t know if you were clear as to who was who in this story. Let me explain it: the brand name ball represents The Tonight Show, the first boy was Jay Leno, the second was Conan O’Brien, and the father/teacher was NBC. The no-name ball represented the Jay Leno Show.

All in all this is a very frustrating debate, because it’s a matter of pettiness and paranoia about something new. Just because The Tonight Show didn’t fare well right after it’s inception, doesn’t mean that Conan isn’t a great host and should be pushed away by the network. And although Jay Leno may not have meant any harm, I’m pretty sure he has spent enough time in the limelight, and made enough money, that he doesn’t need to be there anymore (going from a hilarious stand up comedian in his early career, to a mediocre host of the world’s most famous talk show).

So where will Conan go, now that NBC has screwed over their relationship with him? In their relentless quest to piss off most of the people in show business, NBC seems to be forgoing any chance of salvaging a relationship with Conan. As the days go on, no doubt other celebrities will weigh in on the situation. But for now, we’ll present you, kind reader, with a quote from Rosie O’Donnell on the whole situation:

"If you're privileged enough to drive the bus, you should say, 'Thank you' and drive it to the best of your ability, and when it's time for them to hire a new driver, you should say 'Thank you for allowing me to drive this as long as I did' and pass the keys to the new guy with red hair, and not try to flatten his tires before he even gets going."

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maxspecht

 

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